A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
