He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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