so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
