So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
