That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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