Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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