i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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