I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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