he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
