i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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