Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
