had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
