I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
