I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
