He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
