Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
