he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
