Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
