you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
