Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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