dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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