with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
