Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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