you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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