Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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