just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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