Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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