Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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