he wants to bone in the snuggie
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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