i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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