you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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