Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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