I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
