a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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