Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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