hell yes lets make some ravioli
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
