wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
