I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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