I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
