I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
