Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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