'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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