My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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