If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
