my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
