Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
