Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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