.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
