"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.