dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?