im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed