The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
