Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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