There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
