she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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