Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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