That's intense
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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