elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
