I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
i permit you to call me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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