i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
