Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i out mim tonsoeep
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