you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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