no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
