alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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